|
| wow.what a crazy way to live life these days. not at your house that is. i am no longer living at my house. i have moved on to better things, and i cant stay there anymore. i find it peaceful and easy to live without people bugging me about things. I feel like this expierence is making me grow up and understand that, wow, my life is way different then the regular persons life, its difficult and its going to be more complicated then other peoples lifes. I understand that even after all of this i am going to be a stronger and more independent person. I wont need a lot of help from anyone, and even staying where im at, i feel like im always bothering people, even when they say im not over and over again. I feel like i can make it on my own, but inside again, i feel like ive lost a part of me. Seeing my moms face, and i know and she knows that its not her fault i left, was the worst thing ever, and i dont want to go through that again, but i had to do it. My dad is psycho, and he really is the only person, the only person that i could truely ever hate. he is rude, and self seeking, and i hate that. he goes out of his way to make my life hell. its not right, it really isnt. People say im brainwashed... you dont know me, and you sure as hell dont know anything about my family behind closed doors or you would see what is really happening. i really dont want to write a lot in here. im not trying to make my family look bad, they do a good job with that themselves. but i need to find a new job, and make some moolah. im almost broke!! ahhh hahaha. | | |
| 
i miss my vacations with my best friend Lo! There are so many times when i think back on how much she is always there for me, not matter what, and i love her for that. So today was pretty much great at the beginning. School was fabulous, & twinkee and brittany FINALLY got married! The cutest little wedding ever. She looked so in Love. Then i chilled with Andrea. I love her like woah. We went to el azteca and met some mexican friends, and tried to speak spanish to them. sexy spanish bahaha. Then we went to visit our mexican lover friend at 7-11. Oh and we saw some lame boys with an ugly black mustang that cant race. :) Then we also saw my sandradear, and joeybear. Kay. well everything went great! and then i got to go to ryans, and we played volleyball the whole time! i was ewww sweaty too! i got out a lot, but its still a lot of fun with everyone playing, they all are so sweet to me. :). I had a talk though with ryan, and well it went good, and we are all good now. thankfully. now i have the worst sore throat, i dont know why though, ms. nips says a virus is going around. ehhwyy. I dont wanna get sick. But anyways, tomorrow, which really is today, i have to work. that sucks big balls. I cant stand just sitting around, like literally doing nothing at all. Its so non productive.. haha. Now im listening so the annoying mom on that 70's show, im about to turn that crap off, even though i love that show! I think i have figured out that MEXICAN FOOD is amazing, and i love it more than i love chinese now. thats cray cray. but shooo anyways. im about to go to bed, i dont wanna look like a zombie walking around tomorrow. that would suck like a lot. well ill update sooner, or probably later :D <3 dakotastar. | | |
| i am a representative for stephen jay photography.. he does senior pictures and i wanted to knowif you could give me your name and address with your zip code.. the reason why is that why will send out a postcard...and your postcard may be picked to win a mustang or $20,000. please do this :D & if you know any other juniors, they dont just have to go to norview, then just let me know! | | |
| no matter what you go through in life. EVERYTHING CHANGES. My love for Evan is stronger than ever before, and i know that hopefully somehow we can last one more year apart.. haha. We are doing pretty good right now. I am slowly but surely making better grades.. never really ever happened. But one thing that really scares me is my relationship with my family. People are always like your family has done nothing to you and they love you. Yeah they love me i know that, but not everyone knows EVERYTHING. & again thats when everything changes. I am not saying that i dont love them because in fact i do and i hate to see them upset, but at the same time, its really not my fault.. it really isnt. and im not just trying to tell myself that. people assume and overreact way to much now a days. and frankily, i just dont really care about that. Overreacting is just leaving room for silent treatments and angry faces. And i know everyone is dying to know what they did to make me this bitter about everything. And i know half of you nosey people already know anyways. but thats okay, ill just let the whole world wide web know. theres one word i have to say, and thats all, and he doesnt even matter to me anymore, its just the fact that it happend. RYAN. and i know that everyones face just turned to disgust, but i knew that you were going to do that. he really was everything to me at the time and i know that everything could have and would have worked out if my family wasnt so bitter. I know that they had "their reasons," but at the same time, they didnt see that i had my reasons also. And to be honest i felt like nothing that i said mattered because what they had in their mind was so much greater than what was in mine, and that made me feel like i wasnt important and what i thought didnt really matter at all to them. But you know after all that, i did find someone that i love more than ever, Evan, and they love him. But its always the whole what if thing. & why. and i guess i just can never really answer that... god only knows what lies in the future. And i just hope that everything turns out okay in the end. Well i am all cute looking today, and after i get out of this job at 3 i am peacing and most likely hanging out with eric. well i guess i will update later. <3 | | |
|    
gotta love the twinnnn :] i am sitting here listening to the mix that i just made. It got me realizing that i really need to step up my game, and take control of my life. I dont need to settle for less, i need to settle for more, because i deserve a lot more than i am getting. Todays my sisters birthday and i love her! shes finally 18! Twinkee is helping me with a lot of my problems. and i love him! Theres not a lot going on in my life, but its great! <3 dakota.star. | | |
|
